Even Before Death

This dislocated life was not of my making
Known only to the sentinels of those infinite dark spaces

Twisted in the womb
Breached from birth
Epigenetic sequencing
Cellular memories of 
Lives on earth

Abandoned in your rich fathers house
A tom boy left to fight
An ill fated arranged marriage to a poor man made over night
Impoverished by cruelty neglect expulsion
Hostile xenophobia failed diagnosis cold nights …

Brought back to the present by undulating soul sounds
A soothing backdrop to angry mobs and marching crowds
Not unfamiliar to me and my generation
And for our elders (and the deceased) all too reminiscent
The terror the violence a ceasless premonition

Police on colour not this time
This time they stood observing the far right
Harboured racial hatred
Emboldened by genocides
Legitimised all too crudely in broad daylight

This time the death threats turned into brown fires
And the state looked on
Why should it enquire
What, wait whose death are we talking about
Theirs or mine?

In some ways we’ve already died
As if there isn’t enough going on in my brown mind